Footnotes
1. Originally I used the terms belief, disbeleif,
Belief to define my phases - paralelling Blake rather bluntly, but I was
compelled to change them to dysBelief , Disbelief, DysBelief - it feels
more appropriate that disbelief rather than belief be my focus, but of
course I am playing with the fact that belief is the root of disbelief.
. .the whole post-modern thing again. . .I started with Blake and ended
up with Derrida (you know the whole word play thing he did with "differance"
- phonetically difference and differance are the same - at least "en francais"
(pardon my French) - but by playing with spelling he created his own word,
just as Blake created his own definition for innocence through capitalization.
. you can see here the synthesis of the romantic and post-modern models
- I've played with spelling and capitalization but phonetically all my
phases are the same. . .)just as in my personal journey I began as a romantic
and have evolved into a post-modernist. I also like that I first
capitalize Belief, then Dis, Then both - thus incorporating the notion
of synthesis into the structure of the word itself. .
2. I lost my last fragment of space after going through my own personal
Haliax. It is definitely significant in some way that my spiritual
descent hit rock bottom in a place called Halifax (ie Hell/ifax).
3. My redefining of the states of dysBelief/Disbelief/DisBelief
also connects to this - all this defining is playing with that whole
post-modern notion that we are defined by our language. Because we
use certain words to relate to our "reality" words ultimately define our
reality for us, in a sense then words make reality and if we wish to alter
reality we must make/remake/redifine words. By altering text, we
alter context. . .(text is at the root of context after all!)
4. Is it just me or is there an etymological connection between
deride and Derrida?
5. In Samurai Pizza Cats terms, instead of Bad Bird turning
into Good Bird, we have Good Bird turning into Better Bird! (perhaps Ambivolent
Bird?)
6. Callisto is a recurring villain on Herc and Xena - she's
a psychotic, homicidal, self-destructive warrior bitch from hell who was
transformed into a goddess by eating ambrosia - she has an affinity with
fire as the root of her psychoses is the fact that Xena, before she "turned
into good bird", and when Callisto was only a child, torched her village
and barbecued her family. - hmmm perhaps Callisto may be a more appropriate
name for Sylvia, I was thinking of Sylvia Plath of course but the whole
thing with Callisto becoming a "monster goddess" who can't die despite
her self-destructive impulses (though she did appear to die at the end
of last season. ..) and thus takes it out on everything and everyone
around her is a pretty good parallel to my demon I think. .
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